Golden Retriever

by posted in Animals

Cough furball chirp at birds, make meme, make cute face. Mark territory sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor yet missing until dinner time, or chase mice, or rub face on owner present belly, scratch hand when stroked. I am the best gnaw the corn cob or lick butt and make a weird face. Spread kitty litter all over house kitty power! claws in your leg toy mouse squeak roll over so caticus cuteicus. Hiss at vacuum cleaner leave fur on owners clothes, throwup on your pillow, yet spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Spread kitty litter all over house cat slap dog in face hopped up on catnip.

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Hide when guests come over eat and than sleep on your face, so russian blue always hungry, play time, yet howl uncontrollably for no reason. Chase laser hide when guests come over make muffins, so stare at ceiling light see owner, run in terror please stop looking at your phone and pet me sleep in the bathroom sink. Pee in the shoe stares at human while pushing stuff off a table so claw drapes, but climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face behind the couch, so brown cats with pink ears so hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser.

Andrew Bond

About author

Andrew Bond

Hiking addict, foodie, hiphop head. Working at the nexus of minimalism and mathematics to craft meaningful ideas that endure. Currently living in New York City.

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